TERMS & CONDITIONS
Who We Are (And What You’re Getting Into)
Welcome to TWAAT.co.uk – the home of cheeky, sarcastic, and sometimes downright rude greetings cards. If you’ve stumbled here by accident, now’s your chance to back out before you get offended. We don't do sappy Hallmark fluff. We do sweary, snarky, hilarious cards that might make your nan blush (or laugh – depends on the nan).
By browsing, shopping, or interacting with our website, you’re agreeing to play by the rules laid out below. So if you keep using the site, we’ll take it as a “yes” to all this.
1. Warning: May Contain Swearing
We make rude cards. They include swear words, inappropriate jokes, and adult humour that’s not for the faint-hearted or easily offended. If you’re here, we assume you have a sense of humour – or at least enough curiosity to know what you're getting into.
We’re not responsible if you accidentally buy a card that says something spicy and give it to your boss/gran/kid’s teacher. You've been warned.
2. Ordering Stuff
You browse, you click, you pay – we post. It’s a simple setup. When you place an order, you’re basically asking us to make and send you something fabulous and offensive. We do our best to get it spot-on every time, but just in case:
- If you mess up your order (wrong address, wrong card, etc.), give us a shout quickly and we’ll do our best to fix it before it prints.
- If we mess up (rare, but we are human), we’ll sort it. Pinky promise.
- Once it’s printed and posted, we can’t magically call it back mid-delivery like some Hogwarts owl.
3. Shipping
Our cards are sent out via Royal Mail. You’ll usually get your order within 2–5 working days.
- If there’s a postal strike, blizzard, or pigeon uprising, delays might happen – we’ll keep you posted.
- We ship worldwide.
4. Returns & Refunds
If something arrives damaged, let us know within 7 days and we’ll sort it.
- If we’ve sent you the wrong thing, we’ll fix that too – no drama.
- No refunds for cards that are 'too rude.' That’s kind of our whole thing.
- Refunds are only offered if the product arrives damaged or printed incorrectly. Otherwise, all sales are final.
5. Intellectual Property
All the cards, designs, witty slogans, inappropriate puns and images you see on this site? Yep, they belong to us (unless we say otherwise). Don’t steal them. Don’t copy them. Don’t stick our card on a T-shirt and sell it at Camden Market.
If you want to feature our stuff somewhere, just drop us a message and ask nicely – we’re usually game.
6. Be Nice (ish)
We know we’re a sweary card company, but we still expect people to behave like decent humans. If you leave abusive comments, harass our staff, or behave like a proper tw@t, we reserve the right to cancel your order and block your access. Fair’s fair.
7. Your Info
We collect just enough personal info to send you your cards and keep you updated. For all the juicy details about what we collect and how we use it, check out our Privacy Policy.
8. External Links
Sometimes we link to other sites – partners, socials, or funny things we like. We’re not responsible for what goes on there, so click with caution. Basically: if you fall into a weird internet rabbit hole, it’s not on us.
9. Changes to This Stuff
We might update these terms every now and then – usually to keep up with the law or because our lawyer said so. We won’t spam you about it, but it’ll always be here on this page if you want to double-check.
10. Questions?
If anything’s unclear, email us at: saywhat@twaat.co.uk. We're not robots (yet), so give us a bit of time to respond – but we always will.